Worksheet · Anxiety and stress

Situation — instruction — result

Switch your brain to manual control: first decide what result you need, and only then what to do.

10–15 minutesAuthor’s methodOnlinePDFExcel

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Online version

Situation — instruction — result

When it helps

Situation 1

You want to shout back, walk out or slam the door — and then you regret it.

Situation 2

You have a plan, but you reach for your phone or a show almost on autopilot.

Situation 3

Anxiety sends your thoughts round in circles: “What should I do? What if it doesn’t work?”

How it works

Why it works

To the brain, life is a chain of situations, each with a ready-made instruction. We’re out of milk — go to the store. But when there is no ready instruction, the brain grabs the first one to hand: shout, walk out, scroll the feed. Or it starts going through options with no goal and slides into anxiety.

That is why “What should I do?” is the wrong question. The right one is “What should I do — and what for?” This technique reverses the order: situation → result → instruction. On paper you can see where autopilot leads and where a new instruction leads, and you choose for yourself. This gives you time to think between the situation and your reaction, and the new reaction gradually becomes a habit.

How to fill it in

Describe the situation: facts only. Feelings are facts too.
Write down the result you want. Realistic and within your control.
Honestly write down the automatic instruction — what your brain is telling you to do.
Follow the autopilot chain to the end: where will it lead?
Put together a new instruction: specific, realistic and short.
Check: where will the new instruction lead?
Choose a micro-step that takes a couple of minutes — and do it right away.

See a filled-in example

Situation: My partner and I had an argument. He raised his voice; I feel anger and hurt.
Result I want: I want to stay connected and talk the problem through calmly, without shouting or blaming each other.
Automatic instruction: Shout back and remind him that he makes mistakes all the time himself.
Where it will lead: We both get louder — it ends in a fight — each of us digs in, and we drift further apart.
New instruction: Pause and say calmly: “I can see you’re angry, let’s talk about it in 10 minutes.”
Where the new instruction will lead: Emotions settle a little — we can talk more calmly — and there’s a chance to reach an agreement and keep each other’s trust.
Micro-step: Take a deep breath and say: “Let’s talk in 10 minutes.”

What it is based on

An author’s tool by Nikita Grigoriev

A technique from the author’s practice, described in detail in his book “В чём смысл жизни” (in Russian). In its logic it is close to thought records in cognitive behavioral therapy and to “if — then” plans.

If your reactions are so strong that you hurt yourself or others, see a specialist instead of working on this alone.

If things feel very bad right now or you are having thoughts of death: 112 — immediate danger to life, around the clock; 116 123 — emotional support, 10:00–24:00; 116 006 — victim support crisis line, around the clock; Eluliin 655 8088 (Estonian), 655 5688 (Russian) — 19:00–07:00. Emergency help →