Worksheet · Coaching and self-discovery
See how an old experience sets off the same role and reaction every time — and choose a new role to break the loop.
Online version
Similar situations keep ending the same way — and you know in advance how.
Your reaction feels too strong for what happened and somehow reminds you of the past.
You notice you’ve slipped back into a familiar role: the guilty one, the rescuer, the invisible one.
How it works
An old reaction works like a loop. Situation → interpretation: what I tell myself → experience: a past trauma or hard experience that gets switched on → the role I fall into → reactive emotions → actions. The actions create a new situation — and the loop repeats. S.I.E.R.R.A. is made up of the first letters of these steps: Situation, Interpretation, Experience, Role, Reactive emotions, Actions.
This technique helps you break the loop. First you go through it step by step and see the whole of it on paper. Then you choose where to break it: a new interpretation, a new role and a new action — plus a first step you can take right now.
A technique from Nikita Grigoriev’s practice. In its logic it is close to the “situation — thought — emotion — behavior” chains of cognitive behavioral therapy and to the idea of old schemas in Jeffrey Young’s schema therapy.
This is not trauma therapy. If the past feels overwhelming and the memories are too heavy, work through them with a specialist rather than on your own. If things feel very bad or you are having thoughts of death: 112 — immediate danger to life, around the clock; 116 123 — emotional support, 10:00–24:00; 116 006 — victim support crisis line, around the clock; Eluliin 655 8088 (Estonian), 655 5688 (Russian) — 19:00–07:00.
Switch your brain to manual control: first decide what result you need, and only then what to do.
WorksheetCatch the moment when emotions take over — and instead of shouting or going silent, ask your partner for specific words and actions.